If that was your dad, he is hot
Your parents are going to be so confused in the morning
More like pissed. but ill be sure to explain my pathological fear of terrorists hiding in the bathtub
I wish i could be there for it
We are allowed to think Jacob from Twilight is hot in 468 days!
I don't know what is sadder, the fact that you figured that out or the fact that I can't wait until then!!
She makes me want to have breakfast margaritas every day
i think i figured out where our problem might have started...when we poured more tequila on top of out margaritas to melt the ice bc they were too cold
hahaha or putting rum in the bbq sauce?
I can't believe you broke a Paula dean wooden spoon over my ass
You defs just slept for 6 hours in a porta pottie. You should probably just kill yourself.
On my way, five mins. Is the line long? Do you think they will they hold a pumpkin at coat check?
I'm petty sure you said "hold on let me make my nipples hard, they look better"
The Medal of Honor you banged could be at the inauguration today. You really dropped the ball on keeping up with that one.
I'm drunk in a place called Lick-A-Chick. PS. It's not a lesbian hot spot, they sell chicken.
I'm not well. Although it could be worse.
My cousin is so hungover she quit her job.
I've given up on the male species, I'm just going to be a lonely whore for the rest of my life.
I just had a visual of u banging and screaming at him at the same time.
Our faces when the strip club was closed looked like the grinch just stole Christmas ☹️
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