Lonely and bored. Am I allowed to play Dance Dance Revolution by myself?
i overslept, had to take a cab to the train station, might puke, bought the wrong flavored vitamin water, and mj's dead. what a terrible world to wake up to.
In America we eat man semen.
you spent the like half the night trying to figure out the puzzles on the back of the captn crunch box
Eric and I got kicked off of karaoke last night. Apparently, singing about masturbation to the tune of "A Whole New World" is not appropriate and definitely frowned upon by the DJ.
Nothing like all your friends getting engaged to remind you how much fun sleeping around is.
I'm gonna have to fantasize about her dying just to get off.
If you listen closely you can hear the sound of inbreeding and shame.
Mistake of the day: loudly discussing my gay hookups on the phone at the dmv in upstate NY... this must be what leprosy feels like
so apparently going to a christian rock concert dressed as Jesus is horribly inappropriate.
Ugh. The fucking vaginal recession is so real right now.
I look at it as community service. He was going through a rough time and I gave him an ego boost. That's how we're going to remember it. I was doing a good deed lol
Drunk me really needs to stop 1. telling every attractive dude in a relationship that monogamy isn't real 2. Proposing threesomes with them and their girlfriends
After we fucked we sat in bed and watched Charlie St. Cloud and he fed me ice cream. It was probably the most romantic thing I've ever done.
That's nice of you to be concerned, but I'm pretty confident I'll marry someone 30 years older than me, ride out being the trophy wife for 10 or 15 years, then live large!
Randomize
