so Mike and I made a deal. we'd do anal if he would help me pick out carpet tomorrow.
What...you let him do that?
It wasnt that bad. the two minutes it took is nothing compared to the 10 hr day I have planned for him tomorrow
Your brother just informed me that half a mouthful is a unit of measurement. I love talking to members of your family.
The world would have a new energy source if someone would just take a blacklight to the backseat of that slut's car
You'll be the guy with the raft that sells burritos on the river. You'd be legendary.
This is even worse then that time I fucked a guy just because he had air conditioning.
you asked "if this appropriate to take the the bathroom?" while holding up a bottle of vodka when you went to pee.
I was trying to be really smart and save 10 dollars for each cab there and back. ...so I ripped a $20 dollar bill in half.
As his dick went in he shouted GOAL at the top of his voice.
I got drunk enough that when camel suggested jumping off the pier, I thought it was a fantastic plan. Also my blood hurts.
Any time you can't remember a night, and you wake up in a sorority house, it's fucking worth it.
I just ate a raisin that tasted like wine. Is this real life or is this my body trying to tell me it's Friday and I should be drinking right now?
Honestly I volunteered because the email made it sound like it was a once in a lifetime opportunity to be a sexual spy kid.
My boyfriend and my fuck buddy are going to the strip club together... Should I be concerned?
Or is it distressingly heterosexual?
Just saw Little Red Riding Hood riding a guy on hood of a car
Good for her for committing to the costume
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