Anal astronaut?
Wow word travels fast.
he shaved USA in his pubs
you don't know how close you are to someone till they ask you to shave their ass.
I wasn't trying to make you feel bad, I just agreed with you that your life does suck.
I'm pregaming before our pregaming dinner...with peanut butter and beer. I think I need to re-evaluate my budget...
Just the budget?
you should be careful. everyone knows your chances of pregnancy increase by 100 percent when youre the daughter of a religious figure
U took a sewing needle to his nipple
Psshh,
I took 20 bucks from you because when I woke up I saw more of you than I ever wanted to see bro.
Totally acceptable.
I walked in on him fucking my best friend. I think we've reached the point of following each other on twitter.
I just slipped on ice and peed on my pea coat. There's a pun there but I'm too sad to make it
YOU BROUGHT HANDCUFFS TO THE WHITE ELEPHANT EXCHANGE AND DIDN'T TELL ME???
my grandpa paid for my boob job but he just doesn't know it.
SOME DUDE PUT OUT FOR A MCCHICKEN AND YET YOU STILL WON'T FUCK ME
This can only be settled by a dance off.
I'm mainly pissed because I shaved fucking EVERYTHING for this. WITH SHAVING CREAM. Men do not appreciate how rarely that happens.
Randomize
