I kind of had a moment like that kid whose mom cancelled his WoW subscription, except I didn't try to shove a remote control up my own ass.
Only at my house do scrabble games turn into fist fights. I won though... the fight not the board game.
You can tell alot about a person by their poo.. For example, he was a smoker.
i officially have more pictures of his dick than pictures of us together
He used my blackberry to make a voice recording of me orgasming, then set it as my ringtone while I was sleeping. I discovered this during a staff meeting this morning.
Convincing a cop that you have diplomatic immunity is way harder in Dallas than in Serbia. And you get fined for attempted bribery.
You don't understand. If you watched a video of the shenanigans that occurred in my life over the past 48 hours you would gasp worse than the girl who witnessed me puking in my bag at the children's hospital
He said I kept trying to give him directions back to my house in Rhode Island, and that I started crying when he told me I live in Phoenix.
Pictures of drunk me in a bike helmet are like McDonald's collectible toys. There's sooo many, but NO ONE has seen all of them.
We're shaving superhero symbols into our pubes. I call dibs on Batman.
You're like Jane Goodall in a forest of gay men. Someday your autobiography will be called "Bottoms in the Mist".
seriously though if NH has the largest penis size... the rest of America must be very disappointed.
I know him enough to fuck him but not enough to give him advice.
And the 'kicked out of Xmas party' trophy goes to me. 3rd nomination, first win.
I told him he had to put his dick inside of me at approx 1159 to ensure it was birthday sex. i was 19 when he entered me.. came out 20. winning.
Randomize
