I was in a gas station that sold tazers and I just saw a billboard that said "Strippers, need we say more?" God I love Georgia!
She wanted to test if her costume allows her to still have sex in it. It does
My drug dealer just made me a sandwich at the local deli. Starting to question his street cred.
At one point I went looking for you and found you handcuffed to a chair. I'm pretty sure you handcuffed yourself. I don't know how you got there.
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He's more than prepared to help us move. Dude brought sunscreen, cans of Coke, and Captain Morgan.
You will go out on a boat of flames filled with honor, sarcasm, and assholery, let me assure you.
You asked me to pick a color between pink and purple, and I said orange; you told me, "okay, that's a truth question". Then you asked if I had ever deep-throated a cupcake...I didn't even know what to say.
NO SHITSVILLE I just saw a homeless dude punch a pigeon that flew by him
was it wrong to tell him he's welcome in my pants any time?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He suck his junk in my HALF BAKED. Ben & Jerry would totally disapprove. This is worse than sticky dick donut day.
I described my life as a 7 layer cake of death
Hey so I got my period
Thank god I wasn't ready to deal with sober you for 9 months
Idk what's happening right now but im wearing a tutu and pissed as fuck.
Someone signed my nipple.
also, when i showed up he started talking to me and eventually asked me if the girls treated me well. i went on to talk about my sex life. he was talking about his secretaries.
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