i'm gonna be such a cougar when i'm older...i just facebook stalked my little sister's 13 yr old boyfriend while drinking a bottle of wine....
Also how the fuck did i get like 30 brown napkins
Threesome last night. Not that cool, you tend to pick a favorite.
We all have a cross to bear. Yours just happens to be attracting gay men.
Its so fun. We're having a music war with the boat next to us. They have strippers.
ill give you the fast version. Hooked up with 17 year old coworker while housestting for my boss
Shes definitely an expert at this. Her happy hour goes from 4 to 11, then she starts drinking heavy. She also allots 15 minutes each hour for a pee/bj break
Beer is acceptable at 830am if it's your bday, right?
I'm in my bed. Snow angles in fresh sheets. don't even try to get me out tonight.
Today I learned I and my bar naps were the subject of a bar meeting.
Don't be hating on my everclear. Never taken a smoother journey into intoxication.
This is like 50 shades on steroids but with healthy relationship models and mutual respect among all parties involved and lesbian activity.
They think I'm one of them. I'm about to get drunk in a Santa suit and bust down the door singing Christmas carols.
what could you have possibly accomplished by watching 6 hours of a mythbusters marathon
well, i added sex in a wind tunnel to my bucket list
I woke up to the smell of shame and vomit in my hair... went to the bathroom to shower and passed out... woke back up naked with the blow dryer on... thanks for making my birthday a success
Randomize