saw you had $9 in your checking acct, left $20 on your dresser so you won't be a whore this weekend
Well if yoir are still awake and secided to drink... You may aswell drink
That text needs to switch to water.
you can't just make up for the fact that you broke up with me by tagging yourelf in my embarrassing facebook videos of you
He gave me his number and said the usual call whenever you need someone but then was like... or just call me.
You would pick up a guy in AA.
Just me. You're probably having sex with her right now, so here's a reminder that you should be thinking of me per our agreement.
I think they make you graduate because you get too old to go hard and become a risk. homecoming weekend wins again. fuck.
Then me, her, and her mom snorted tequila. The bartender was in shock.
Winning pick four numbers were just 6969... if I were 18 I could've won 20,000 dollars.
You get 5 min
Your time limits don't scare me, I'll include foreplay and redressing in that 5 min. If you wanted to challenge me you should say you got an hour, id be scared then and more creative.
That pizza at 1 am literally tasted like I was eating an angel
Best day ever, my junk is bigger than Kate Uptons boyfriends. Yay for Fappening day!
I stepped in puke last night then washed it off my shoe with beer. Is there a grace period to respect before wearing them to class?
I now know he's been cheating for a while. I also know HER name, address, phone number, Facebook account, religion and zodiac sign. I feel like I'm earning my restraining order. Point is, never fuck over a librarian.
Quit giving me a hard time, whens the last time you got head every night? Cougars are where its at they dont play games
How does it make you feel that I can't control my vagina around you?
Randomize
