What are we going to do tonight?
What we try to do every night. Take over the world
I had to put my glasses on last night to watch porn. SO getting lasik with my tax returns this year.
Because ur a stupid bitch
Actually, I'm graduating from college on Saturday so that makes me a well educated bitch.
Just saw a dude hanging out a window upside down chugging a 60 of vodka. This weekend is big for everyone I guess
Old lady caught me peeing in the street and yelled at me and said "I REBUKE YOU"
You hit on my mom and then passed out in the kiddie pool.
Just thought you should know that we coat checked our fairy wings last night. Getting belly up to the bar was way more important that wearing our costumes.
gave him road head on the way to his grandparents house. purposely didn't let him finish, the sexual tension over turkey was indescribable.
Ita all starting to make sense i need vodka like i need air
Then he kept saying sentences and ending them all with "the point of no return" even if it didn't make sense, and kept telling this other guy he wouldn't be his "wife son"
I bet George Washington got SERIOUS head back in his hay day.
Seriously. All I want right now is a 40 with a nipple on it, and a nap
Does she know she is talking to people who slam shots of fireball and chase it with vodka?
Hey. You dropped and smashed your road beer in my store last night. Again. And this time you didn't even order anything. You just walked in, yelled "SWEDISH STYLE!" Then lost your beer, looked depressed, and left.
She was blacked out at her own party. It felt good to stand next to her while she laid on the floor and say "vomit does not look good on you."
Randomize
