Emee failed...She used my genitals as a tampon
There's a girl in my class named "La-a" pronouced "Luh Dash uh" I hate everyone
How the hell am I supposed to know what lotion to get her? They should have a dressing booth where I could go test how good it is for jerking off, then I'd know.
Literally he has the smallest penis I've ever felt since 8th grade.
I shagged another guy with one ball last night. Are there really that many dudes with one nut in la or am I just a magnet for prostetic testes?
I don't care how hot he got, I can't get past the PTSD flashbacks of the first time he fingered me
When you start quoting save the last dance you need to stop drinking
I don't not like him. It's just wierd talking to him because we both know I fucked his wife.
DOWN HORMONES. BACK.
I seriously had alll four of your knuckles bruised into my arm
Honestly I don't even have room for feelings after that Taco Bell
I CALLED IT A FRIENDSHIP. NOT A I WANT YOUR MAN PARTS IN MY LADY PARTS-SHIP.
I have banged to "The Emperor's New Groove" way more than could possibly be reasonable.
Putting a bow on your dick doesn't make it a real present
Yeah I either headbutted a street sign while texting or I defended you two from an evil gang of nazi muggers. I was black out so I am gonna assume it was option b.
Randomize
