hi i'm bored and kind of... in a sort of dirty mood
pics
no i'm at a mixer dressed up as the teenage mutant ninja turtles
Tell her she can't have a vagina
He looks like Jesus, if Jesus had let himself go.
It happened again. Now theres even more baby powder and its all over the place, I'm not cleaning that house.
I'm being an old woman and getting trashed in a night gown in public...of course it's going to be fun
Guess what happened to me today at work?
I have chlamydia. What happened.
Oh lets talk about your news first. Mine is happy so it should go second.
You have dresses for different occasions. I need different men's dicks too. It's logic.
Sounds like sex on a twister board.
An idea that is both hilarious and intriguing...
Not my type. One of those types that loves that they're educated, could drink their red wine and have an intellectual conversation and have a wonderful time
An adult?
Dude I broke her toilet blowing some dude. I wasn't going to turn down the 300$ he offered to fix it.
The tit pic search didn't go as planned, some old guy sent me a pic of his balls and said stop texting his daughter. Better luck tomorrow
he had hair everywhere except his balls
My sister's exploding appendix just cock blocked me...
Update: his apartment is apparently in the campus Christian community center. The fact that I fucked him on the couch in the lobby is officially my crowning life achievement.
Haha idk you were stealing pizza dough at dominos
Randomize
