my bedside table was not meant to hold this many beer bottles.
So the girl in front of me was buying champagne too .. I wanted to be like "so are you celebrating clean test results too?"
He just made a mudslide using rubinoff and swiss miss packets. This can't end well....
We didn't need to cut her off. I'm pretty sure the lit candle she almost drank would have done it for us
Please know that I fully expect you to help me steal a bed if I have a bad breakup.
we used the bottom of a tampon for coke since no one had a 20 on them. My life has resisted to this.
Maybe your new years resolution should be not to fuck in Sears bathroom anymore.
I found his Linkedin the day after he created it. Too stalkerish or just right?
I think the last straw was when you put on ice skates to go across the waxed wooden floor.
Got into Princeton. So excited about the mommy-issue-over-achieving-cock I get to ride the next 4 years!!!
the cops are being surprisingly chill about david hanging from a tree with no pants.
No one wanted to hang out so vodka and I are hanging out
I don't want to be "that guy" but I may have accidentally sent a dick pic to your mom
I had sex in the bed of a guy who owns a house last night so I feel like this is a significant step up from car sex in the parking lot of a library
Whats a little breast milk between friends?
Randomize
