im sorry but my first introduction to your dick isn't going to be a pic sent from the men's room
omg a stripper jus od'd on stage.
Found him. He was passed out on the couch at the new place in a room full of burnt pizza smoke.
I've got 15 minutes to eat dinner and drink a 40. Four years of college has all been training for this moment.
she spent the whole night flailing her arms because "primates are the only species who can move their arms like that and we shouldn't waste it"
they night at the roxbarryed us. came out of nowhere,bought us shots, and then the big one licked my hand? we got out of that noise.
We were all drunk for the whole flight. Steve doesn't even remember the cab ride to the airport. At 6am. Says he "blacked back in" at security.
What would you say is a healthy ratio of sex vs. being called a fucking asshole in a relationship?
Everyone was in the walk-in getting high, and I had to be all cool. Serving soup and salads. Night manager status doesn't pay enough.
Woke up in bushes at UT didn't know I was Austin last night
With great liquor, comes great irresponsibility. Remind me of this night tomorrow.
I spent the entire party sexting people's significant others for them because they were too drunk to do it themselves. I did quite well too. I should start a business
I mean I could but due to my age and being a mother and all I feel it's poor judgment to give fellatio in a public establishment.
You know your life has gone downhill when someone has to preface your night with "don't get locked in a porta potty"
Now, I know I say this a lot, but you've obviously never seen my penis.
Randomize
