i told him he had the best dick i've ever seen. then supposedly i kept repeating "peter piper picked the perfect penis"
he left me a note this morning. it said "thank you for letting me touch you"
He just kept pointing to each of us saying "arrested, arrested, arrested"
We didn't even make it to the door before they came out saying we weren't allowed in because of last time..
Best part of being a cop: When I showed up at Thanksgiving with stitches in my head I could tell them I was "protecting and serving" not "drinking and falling down". Career validated.
Let's just rave with boners that last for hours
I feel like I just gave a blowjob to a freight train.
Also he wants to know a casual, consise way to ask a girl in a bar if he could eat her out. Think on that.
I don't care if he was in that porno. He looked like he knew what he was doing.
I'm home alone for the next hour and a half, I expect soup and and a willing attitude to do drugs from one of or both of you girls.....annnnnd go
She's legally too young to drink and was making out with a guy who is ethically too old to drink.
It's time to run my sex life like a basketball team. Got the lesson Clint!
Of course, it's a law of friendship. "Thy friend Shalt always hold hatred for thine friend's swinish ex"
I'm glad you got documented proof of my stupidity with a head full of nitrous
Hahaha and I'm glad you are doing whip its at a childrens basketball game
I'm hungover from the 8pm vodka and still drunk from the 5am beer.
Randomize
