Why did you take off so early
No more beer. And also. Threesome. Maybe. Ill let you know.
he just told me about his fetish for rubbing grape jelly on his penis.
And by the way, how is me getting head even remotely comparable to you fucking 3 guys?
i'm sure god appreciates how great my boobs look during this fine christmas eve mass
The best part is when you puked in your slurpree and the 7 eleven guy still made you pay for it
I feel like calling off tonight. Is a strong desire for masturbation a valid reason?
Forgot my sound was off and didnt even realize it until halfway through because I thought I could hear it. I think high me just narrated half a clip of adventure time
I am a murderer. I ran over so many baby frogs. I wanted to stop and pick some up to take home, but all I have is a wine bottle. I'd hate to explain that to a cop.
Thats alot of pressure.
Just on your vagina. BTW I'm passing your house.
Makes sense. My grandma just did this shot. MY FAMILY KICKS ASS.
I offered to give him "road head" while he played GTA 5. I think he will be more optimistic about date night in the future.
well at least you didn't have your nipples chewed last night
I need to sanitize my soul.
There's a dryer on fire at the laundromat, and everyone's just standing around taking pictures. Except me. I'm texting.
Shit happens dude.
Shit doesn't just HAPPEN on the kitchen floor you asshole.
Randomize
