i've got a dick and you've got a pussy....what is the problem??
Apparently mediocre decisions were made last night. I woke up alone in my own bed with my fridge defrosted.
And I didn't go to bed alone. I am buckets of fail.
Stop everything. They have oreo straws to drink milk with and then you eat the straw. I think i just got turned on by a cookie commercial.
I forgot how few teeth there are in this state...
Not complaining, but why is there a Russian chick downstairs making latkes?
How did you get the entire couch up on it's side and into the bathroom?
She's been drinking and was roller blading. I'm sure you can do the math
So can we talk about how we all three made out with the bike taxi driver in lieu of paying him. I'm not even mad, that's resourceful. You know what married girls would have had to do? They'd have had to pay.
pregamed for the floor meeting. so stoned. i keep thinking my RA is shrinking.
I might've decided it was a good idea to try to steal all of the pool balls at the pub... I apologize in advance that we now need to become regulars somewhere (anywhere) else.
We need to play Chardee MacDennis. Contact me when you have an available date. This is not a question.
I wish someone would just come knock on my door and fuck me already so that me and my stuffed animals aren't the only ones who see my amazing spring break tan. I'm not getting skin cancer so I can just sit here abstinent.
There's nothing worse than carrying your fairy crown and wings home wearing fishnets
I just want some dick and chicken fingers please advise
he'll eat me out, but god forbid we double dip when sharing salsa
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