you didnt say anything until i brought it up today. i guess i misjudged your maturity.
I guess I misjudged your gender.
Yeah he is here but I can't let him know I am until he has like 30 min worth of drinks. so when he see me he isn't like "omg ew,NO!"
I have so much to learn from you, wise slut
you should have heard her the other night. no sentence related to one preceding it. it was like she was in etch a sketch and when she moved she forgot everythin
You guys were grinding to YMCA. I knew you were going to hook up with him.
I had to do a class evaluation today & the girl beside me didn't fill in any bubbles she just wrote in huge letters RETIRE across the whole sheet
Just wrestled a cop. He won my shorts. I won my freedom. In fishnets and army boots. still headed to the party. would appreciate pants, but not necessary.
Her brother is definitely not gay. I hooked up with him when she was sleeping.
The chick working the drive through at BK on New Years stuck her head out the window and told me there were no line ups for the bathrooms inside so i should go in there. I just kept squatting and peeing and told her it would prob help business.
I think I collapsed a disk in my spine when I drunkenly lifted that fat girl on my shoulders to chicken fight at the pool.
I feel like I should pray to the god of Febreze, because it is like it washes away the smell of all my sins from the bed
I'm not saying I haven't been that drunk. I'm just saying I haven't been that drunk and then have cops buy me shots.
Remember when we were coked out at that house and we were trying to meditate in the bathroom? Who's house were we at?
I'm just sitting here drunk and eating peas because my life sucks
Just leave a note saying "riding dick see you in the mornig"
I really wanted you to make me eggs this afternoon. I even wrote it on my hand to remind myself.
Randomize
