i wish we had morning classes together so we can spike our coffee.
Bad idea pregaming graduation.... she just threw up before walking across the stage... i'm gonna miss this
Nothing says "get your life together" better than waking up in a tub full of your own vomit. Twice. In one night.
you should break up with her....give her the gift of reality
Taking back a box of condoms is possibly the most depressing thing i've ever done
I sleep with the gay men, they no longer have questions about their sexuality. No strings attached at it's finest and i get new shopping buddies out if it. It really is a win win situation.
You are my idol.
When you get to his house tomorrow, follow your instincts. Find the cat first.
A guy in a banana suit just got the whole bus to participate in a call and response version of Bohemian Rhapsody. HERO
I thought we were but then I freaked myself out. So I kind of geared him up for take off and then cancelled the launch
Stormed out of the house in frustration and now I'm in public and have to take a rage dump. Today sucks.
They're magnificent. It's like god made her last but hadn't fulfilled his boob quota.
And that was the night we had mind-blowing sex with the score from Raiders of the Lost Ark blaring on vinyl in the background...
Yeah you were fine except for when you peed under the bar
I got off F O U R times, just because he wanted to hear me moan. He is my hero.
Call me Sherlock Holmes, bitch.
Randomize
