So at what point while he was throwing up on the girl next to him did you think "yeah, im going to hit that"
Dudeeeee, i ordered strippers for my party.
I ordered a moonbounce.
Fuck, you win.
i lost my airplane ticket and tried to board with a bar receipt in all the confusion. i have officially lost all brain cells in college.
he tried to convince me he was a seal.. sound effects included. and then asked me to 'be his lady seal'.
...She was shooting whiskey using a turkey baster...i was horrified.
Half of elefante. Gelafin galaxy
I think my vagina has grown over, not unlike earring holes when not used in a long amount of time.
I STILL HAVE A HARD TIME DECIDING WHAT TO WEAR IN THE MORNING HOW WOULD IT BE POSSIBLE FOR ME TO PICK A PAIR OF PANTS AND GO OH ILL JUST WEAR THESE FOR THE REST OF MY LIFE
The homeless guy who goes through my garbage cans just gave me a flyer for an AA group.
I don't think I've ever met a guy with a bush bad enough that I would choose a cactus over it.
Woke up on the floor with shoes on my hands...I'd say it was a success
My RA just sigh me high as fuck acting like a zombie and scratching at my door. Thoughts?
He was so high he started playing Twister on the striped rug. Then when we missed midnight he went on a screaming rampage about his New Year's Eve being meaningless. How do you think it went?
I'm glad I didn't see Grandma stumbling drunk and peeing herself...it would be like seeing my future.
You got drunk, made toast, and declared yourself a domestic goddess.
Randomize
