i freaking love being in a circle of guys. if i fart none of them suspect me.
sorry i walked in and ruined it, but i had to laugh she looked like a pile of bologna the way you had her pinned up on the wall
Just got kicked in the balls by a girl in tap shoes. Fuck EVERYTHING
just fyi, hangover + ice skates = really bad idea
Hit a parked car with a "property of Jesus Christ" bumper sticker. Wrote out five hail mary's and left it on the windshield.
I'm terrified to sleep next to her. Of course the sex will be fuckng awesome.
Sometimes I have to make sure these messages are going to you and I'm not about to give someone in my phone book a heart attack.
Sleeping in a car was not on my list of plans for the night.
Yeah, I fucked him. and the worst part is his name was Jesus. And nobody said it in Spanish. Just Jesus. There is no way I can avoid burning when I walk into a church from now on.
5 hours of volunteer work playing with puppies and banned from the frat I hate most as 'punishment'... Besides the ER trip, I'm not seeing the bad in this situation
I was on etsy and I'm like those boobs look way too familiar
He's gonna be like you slept with too many of my friends and you're being voted off the island haha
Dude. I need you to practice dancing around in your banana hamock. Party boy style. I'll call later with details.
video games take priority over anything else you can offer me.
When your guy changes his swinger profile to include you. #makingprogress
Randomize
