this guy at work is bossing me around at work. He is 24 and still has highlights and spikes his hair.
You're getting bossed around by a 1999 Highschool Yearbook picture?
WIFE SWAP. FAMILY OF MIDGETS. LIFETIME. NOW.
i told him my stretch marks were scars from a jellyfish sting........he totally bought it
It's confirmed. We did xmas carol the grocery store across the street from his building at 2:30am... Only the staff was there.
His penis has a special gift of curing my broken heart
She said she couldn't sleep with a guy who had blood stains on his ceiling. I tried to explain it wasn't my blood, but she still left :(
I feel choking has become trendy-- ita losing its effect. I may just have to go back to missionary to spice it up
Cops busted the party. A kid dressed as a dinosaur tried to crawl out the bathroom window but his tail got stuck. It took 3 cops to pry him out.
No im the worst roommate ever. Just dump a bucket of water on my head at 8am so i can suffer like i deserve to.
Now that I'm born again, I'm preserving my gift.
Your vagina isn't a White Elephant gift. You can't re-wrap it after it's already been given several times. That's white trash thinking.
it's graduation. he's gonna get congratulations slash emotional i cant believe youre leaving me sex.
I've actually, minus lsat night have actually changed my drinking habits
Just ate a chocolate chip cookie upside down. This is what having a degree does for you.
So the " I'm gay but curious" thing worked. You owe me 50 bucks.
dude new orleans is fucking wild these two guys just performed dueling banjos except they were actually fighting with the banjos
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