lol whn u cming hre I nd 2 c ur fce
IF YOU TEXT ME ONE MORE SHORTENED VERSION OF A WORD, THE ONLY THING YOU'LL SEE IS MY FIST IN YOUR FACE.
foreplay: 7 minutes. sex: 3 minutes. cuddling: 10 minutes. getting dressed: 5 minutes. commute: 5 minutes.
so last night after we hooked up i got my period and woke up this morning with a blood stain on his bed and not only was it huge but i had put my jeans back on before bed so i took the walk of shame with period stained pants
I discovered the grieving process is shock, denial, anger...and then something about drinking until you puke on yourself
So my teacher figured out I made a drinking game out of her lecture. Once my drink was gone she let us out. Happy St. Patricks day class. Your welcome
I just fell off my chair and knocked over the table. People are staring. That hungover.
It was like having sex with a donkey. Everytime she got close she would kick me.
Does he not understand that naked slip and slide needs supervision after dark?!
we're going to drop off one of our cars at the police station tonight so we'll be able to drive home in the morning
Hey. There is naked girl with "plz don't touch her. She just turned 21" sharpied on her chest. What happened last night?
I mean when you laced a shot with $200 worth of cocaine I could see why you'd be mad when somebody drops it
Dipping my sugar cookies in a glass of fireball and creme soda. This is holiday spirit
Well the hawks lost... so, of course, the only logical course of action was a bonfire in the middle of the street.
we are not getting arrested this weekend. I don't care who I have to blow its just not happening.
i did these weird ass ab exercises once that left me queefing for weeks
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