is it bad if my mug shot looks better than my profile picture?
I bet him anal if they won...the one time Detroit decides to win, it had to be this week
So excited for tonight I might actually pee my pants BEFORE I get blackout
Midnight run for medical supplies ended several hours later with a lapdance to the Braveheart soundtrack.
pregamed for the floor meeting. so stoned. i keep thinking my RA is shrinking.
i got two bottles of merlot and sorrows to drown, you in??
Remind me in the future that chugging dog codeine is not the best idea.
I think I just snorted head and shoulders by mistake.
Well you finally jumped into that tree you've always wanted into and some girl gave you an 8.5. You were very happy.
Also. After puking outside of the bar last night, some guy (who saw me puking) said I looked like Jennifer Lawrence, called me J Law, got my number and is now texting me. Who knew puking and rallying would do me any good
No more twerking this week. I think I dislocated a boob.
If blow jobs were a super power she'd be in the Justice League.
I have his gate key so know he has to see me again.
Now we just need to figure out why your underwear was in your bra
I can't talk, I can't walk, I think I'm twitching and I'm not even sure if I'm typing this. Help
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