I was to big spoon the shit out of you right now
I'm so hungover and dru,k
My favorite part of our friendship is your tits.
Successfully pulled the houdini tonight. Check that off my list.
he just told me his nickname was "nickexplodeon"
does that mean he doesn't last long?
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im sure we could have fun without alcohol but i just dont wanna chance it...
you drank 3/4s of your half gallon of vodka, made a fort out of the kitchen table, and actaually had sex in in it.
I just undressed him with my eyes. And gave him a 10 inch penis. I hope its true.
Jumped in the kebab van and said he was Ultimate MasterChef. Incurred wrath of six angry Turks. I got free chips.
Aside from the slim chance of pregnancy, I'm gonna call last night a raging success.
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Do you think drinking vodka, rum and sourpuss out of a water bottle, in a class that isn't even mine rude?
You asked me if I was judging you for being drunk, and if I can hypnotize you make sober.
If one of us has to be polite I guess I won't sneak out while he's in the shower
I feel like my dick pic collection should be archived at the Smithsonian
Im including "no monologues past 1am" in the list of apartment rules. Theatre majors dude.
Remember that gum I swallowed 3 days ago? I just threw it up.... whole.
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