Yeah...you.wanna.hang.out.tomorrow?My.space.button.is.broken.
i'm listening to "transmissions" by The Tea Party from like '97 and waxing my legs. fuck i'm awesome in my alone time
she was left over bi-product, like the hotdog of the human race
I just had the ultimate walk of shame. I'm barefoot, in his gym short with vomit in my hair and I walked half a mile through campus. At noon. Thanks for picking up ur phone
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he just ordered a side of pineapple and winked at me. too much for a first date. come get me.
Apparently I joined a band last night. Definitely my favorite blackout.
Did we fight the bathroom girl ? She just wanted to give us lotion and condoms.
That basically sounds like the worst party of my life, and I'm including my brother's World of Warcraft themed birthday party.
I apparently used the line "I'm a bouncer too so i would know if I were too drunk" then they asked me to leave.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
why does CNN give a flying $@*# about the royal baby so, so much?
i hope they name him Joffrey
I just gate-crahed a party and met a state senator, so I had an interesting afternoon jog.
I made out with drunk Joe Dirt and then put his mullet wig on for him. True Halloween romance.
somehow a ride to walgreens turned into a threesome.
Do you think in an oreo forest they would have rivers of milk?
Just letting you know that while you peed your pants in that guys jeep, The orgasm I had made my hair fall out... Good morning.
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