Contrary to popular belief alot of woman do actually enjoy sucking cock.
you wouldn't stop saying "oil can" in the tin man voice until I gave you back your flask
In the middle of blowin me she stoppped and told me how easy it would be to insert a catheter ..... Apparently she was a nursing major
Being a slut is okay if you're being a polite slut, right?
i feel like this needs to be a 'lose some teeth' kind of weekend.
Hillary is trying to make pickle pops with vodka and sell them to kids at the ball park.
Highlight of the night: paying my cell phone bill at the bar... I need to get laid.
My favorite bartender added me on Facebook. Now he can clearly see how under 21 I am
It was marvelous. I was drunkenly conversing with my professor in some of the best Spanish I've ever spoken.
you said "i met the love of my life tonight" and i said "me?" and you said "no, hummus"
There was nowhere else for me to go. I'm like the island of misfit toys but I'm hot.
Never do acid then ask for a blow job while watching 28 Days Later. Heed my advice.
He told me that when he bends me over that chair I remind him of a bull rider. So thanks for being the ex that helps my present sex life
Taking a shot every time the Russian in COD says vodka... BEST drinking game ever.
How's the party?
I'm watching two people get flogged. Sothere's that.
Randomize
