Too bad it's not "confirm, ignore or not unless I've had 20+ beers"
sticking your finger down your throat to make yourself throw up is bulimia, not morning sickness, so no, I don't think you're pregnant.
that last vodka shot was definitely the straw that broke the camels alcohol tolerance level
I wish i had a shirt that said, "I know what you're thinking and it's not herpes on my face"
we went to the bar with our boss and you tried to play a song from the atm machine
The bad decision stars are too close to aligning to risk this tonight.
In the bath trying to absorb water through my skin because I can't drink it.. That hungover
I have alcoholic tendencies but you know what? College
I told my therapist about the other night and he actually whistled and said "wow that is not good."
Was expecting a sext from Kristi and then my mom randomly sent me a pic of her ugly Xmas sweater. Worst. Buzzkill. Ever.
Let's just wait to see what happens before we start making radical plans and starting fires
First. I had the strength. Now. I am the death.
You had sex with a Scottish dude with a peg leg....how could I NOT tell that story??
Literally.... Guy kissing himself in mirror in this hotel elevator
i love how you, my friend, sends me a picture of herself wearing a shirt that says "i am dead inside" and i'm just like "awww baby you're so cute"
that's just solidarity
Randomize
