Booty call?
Dude you don't even follow my twitter
Tell me why Im cashing out of Walmart with Smirnoff and catfood
Fucked her within an inch of her life. Seriously. Don't choke bitches when they ask. Was way too drunk to be pulling that shit.
Just realized I have to keep sleeping with him... those scars from drunk sex on the 4th of July are still on my back and lord knows I'm not about to explain that to another guy.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I come back into the room and you're grinding with the person in the mascot suit.
I'll come out for a little. I can't be visibly hungover at work again or I get written up and fired. And yes, I am aware of how alcoholic that sounds.
I was thrown in the air atleast 3 times by baby jesus
You were so excited to be getting 4 tickets to the Whale Rodeo.... That high
just walked across campus with a bottle of champagne in between my boobs. night two and the quest for classiness is already over
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hey sorry for being annoying last night, I just realized how many times I yelled "JORDAN!" during and after playing pong.
In my defense, who let the drunk girl run around with a sack of broken glass unsupervise?
I kinda got drunk and threw my debit card into a bonfire so I don't have any money at the moment lol.
If I could go one week without being called a maneater or a spanish trolip that would be great.
I might go bald with this hair pulling thing every night.
my roommates are pretty pissed at me. they sent me out for ice and i came back with a kitten.
Randomize