I wish I had my old roomstes number so I could send him pictures from lastnight... I had a blast banging his "true love" now that I think about it we're even don't worry about that gas bill you didn't pay. Ur girl worked it off!
i dont feel like going...you don't know how much work goes into getting my whore on
just had to make the 420 edibles gluten free and kosher for passover.
If Megan asks I spilled my water water all over her. I pissed on your roommate. You're welcome. I expect you to keep that on the down low. Seriously tell her the water thing
She fell asleep with me.... We found her pantsless in the dogbed in the morning... Russian foreign exchange students
We haven't even scratched the surface on the damage we could do. Just saying
I have to be more responsible. I've dropped three lighters into my bong today.
His pillow talk sucks. It was like Mr. Roger's vagina.
He threw a twenty at the stripper and asked for change
well did he get it
....yes
I fucked him twice and then he set me up with his teammate. This kid does wonders for me
he just used a semicolon in the middle of a sext
not sure if actually covered in glitter or just drunk
We found you walking up the on ramp to the highway carrying a 40 mph speed limit sign with no shoes on. Rough night?
My aunt just dropped me off at the bar, handed me $50 and told me she'd pick me up later if I needed her to. I should've gotten my license suspended a long ass time ago lol
Im crying watching 9/11 footage eating spray can cheese in my pajamas.
Randomize
