can we please move this conversation out of my vagina?
She got her phone back last night. And the first thing I sent her was a picture of me pooping in a culvers bathroom
how do i say "thank you for the blowjob, but never talk to me again" without crushing her?
four guys that i have slept with have come into my job today. FOUR. i feel like it's like bring your sex partners to work day.
We're knee deep in HJ's right now.
After she cried and passed out at four in the morning, I had a very lovely, very drunken conversation with her mother while decorating a cake into the shape of a penis.
Ran into his mom at the bar, i told her "i know he's married now but I'd still do him"
You know it was a weird night when you find curly fries in your purse the next morning...
We got kicked out of yet another strip club because your mom wanted to "show these kiddies how it's done"
I think he fucked my hip out of place.
I am so horny. It's like all the stress of finals week has relocated to my vagina.
the next morning his mother came in to tell me that she made breakfast. she told me to put my clothes on too. awkward.
i buy too many watermelons when I'm drunk
I’m calling dibs!
You can’t call dibs on dick. That’s free range dick. May the best vagina win!
He's a security blanket. A security blanket who FUCKS.
Randomize
