Do NOT cum in me, on me, or in my bed.
You would only drink if the space jam soundtrack was playing, you thought it was hilarious that before every shot you said "y'all ready for this".
well we are all hammered and my parents are reminiscing about all the times they drove us home drunk from Christmas
This is the way my sobriety ends: Not with a bang, but with a whimper.
I cant prove it..but im almost positive that you were just outside my window watching me while eating out of a bag of Cheetos...
i promise the blood crusted on your tits is from him motorboating you after he tripped into the pool stick. nothing else.
can you please explain how one drink turns into 5 street signs with their poles lying around my room
Can we agree to not tell mom about this?
This isnt even the most disappointing thing i know about you.
I dunno what he did but it both burns and feels amazing to pee
Idk how much more i could have responded my dick was basically trying to unzip the zipper and hop out
Banana suit guy has an entourage and they're all douchebags. There is no god.
Seltzer and cocaine. Life is flawless right now.
I seriously thought Satan had his hand up my asshole and was pulling out my soul. Never. Again.
Do NOT. I repeat. DO NOT call me little one after we have fucked. In no world is that ok. Even jesus agrees.
it was weird i started the party in just my underwear and woke up in my clothes
Randomize
