i want to bang the Snorg tees girl.. shes always smiling ;)
I kinda look like a classier blonde kenny powers.
naighbors jacking off again. i swear its his friday night ritual, its like he knows the night wont be ending in his favor
So I just walked into the bathroom, and there was this kid, talking to his mom, while taking a shit. I flushed the toilet next to him and heard him say into the phone, "No, I'm not. I'm in my dorm."
We lit firecrackers from NYE in the fireplace and he was so passed out that he slept through it.
Yes I hit her with my car. Yes I gave her a ride home. And yes she gave me her number. What's the problem?
You always have that cute deer in the headlights look. Thats what made showing you my penis for the first time so disconcerting.
My vibrator looks like a lipstick tube. So does my mace. I just realized the potential problems of keeping them both in the same bag.
I knew full well that at some point during the night my penis would be out with this costume choice
I was fed cake in bed and then was pinned down and ridden till I came. And then fed more cake. I'm going to marry Brad. I'll put money on it.
While we were having sex he asked me if I wanted to get wingstop after. I think I found my future husband.
We played table tennis, but used tv remotes taped to our foreheads instead of paddles. Every time your opponent scored you took a shot. I'm the current champion as of last night.
Grandma's bordering on serious shit show territory at this point.
last night i was way too drunk and i was forcing people to let me tell them about mammals
I just learned that I could drop out of school and spend the rest of my savings on a giraffe are you free this weekend
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