when we were having sex and i started crying and telling you i missed you..why couldnt you stop and tell me how you felt or make me feel better?you kept going...
He always grinds on me and is like "This is awesome because we're both Catholic!"
Its pretty simple actually, if she texts me either Grr or Rawr it means she is horny and wants to bone. its a perfect system
the two person party stopped when i realized that he tried to throw a hammer at my head.
My bullwhip has saved my life tonight and gotten me laid. I'm gonna be Indiana Jones every Halloween!
I cant be sure, but i think ive been drunk in this church before.
Nothing like playing hide and seek with a state patrol officer early in the morning to get your heart rate up.
Also we saw a clown getting arrested. Rochester is weird.
And THIS is why we get drunk. No good story, documentation, or event happens by eating a salad. Alcohol consumption leads to good things
After the party last night, I dreamt I continued drinking... Apparently my subconscious didn't think I'd had enough...
Y'all best leave this "I can only have a couple drinks" shit at the door. U don't drive to Yukon to have a shot. I'm getting u fuckers drunk.
I just found 20 dollars in my vibrator box. Was it a drunken sign to myself to get more?
he only noticed i dyed my hair purple like halfway through sex and he looked really shocked and he just said "You look like Barney." as he came.
No fair. I need a fuck buddy to entertain me till the power comes back on
But I am still fully ok with my life choices as long as the consequences aren't onesies and pacifiers
Randomize
