Spring semester is just not the same w/o you
Midget sex pt 2 tonight
honestly, magaritas are the void men can't fill.
the 3rd commandment: and god said, if you buy a handle.. you must finish it.
I love my roommate; her alcohol problem, her proclivity for passing out on the living room couch, and her fucking awesome size d tits that can never remain clothed. Craigslist jackpot.
I am watching the CFL at a Hooters in Texarakana. I made a poor life choice at some point that led me here.
yeah he couldn't walk in a straight line and started throwing up and told the cop he just has an astigmatism
do you have any idea how hard it is to keep a boner while another dude is writing on your dick in sharpie?
I'm like a savant for remembering names I learned while I was drunk. Seriously, I'm three for three. I'm on a roll.
Annnnd I didn't even notice there is a guy dancing in a jock strap beside me. That explains girls smiling at me
Please don't place wagers on my sex life unless you are giving me a cut. With my current sluttiness I feel like I deserve 40% for how much money you'll make
One of my students submitted a thesis proposal to find the exact correlation between desire for sexual intercourse and vaginal heat.
Tell me you accepted it! This is critical fucking research!
I don't think you understand. I woke up under the car. At 3 am. In the club parking lot.
I have a bad feeling I'm going to like this fuck buddy
Sitting on couch, workout sex makes me more sore than regular workout
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