normal stoners make pot brownies. gay stoners make pot chocolate covered cherries on a cinnamon graham cracker crust which by the way are very effective.
you would think someone who fights for his country could fight to last longer than 2 minutes
I feel like I should limit myself to one meal prepared from a box per day
Margaritas are 250 calories. Now measuring all food in margaritas
i'm drinking margaritas from a pouch...really dont think i'm in the position to judge anyone...
Meet me at the corner of "what the fuck" and"how'd you get in my bed" in 10 minutes.
Who the hell poured a whole pouch of Capri Sun down my throat last night?
The only reason I'd ever want a boyfriend is so that someone would spoon feed me applesauce when I'm so hungover I can't move
You climbed into the Suite next to us at the game so you could steal the half eaten hot dog someone had left on the table. That high.
...Just between you and me I just did Olympic grade ribbon dancing with toilet paper in the bar bathroom.
My walk of shame this morning would have been much less obvious if it hadn't been 6:30 in the morning and I wasn't walking through downtown Nashville in a Steeler jersey.
I love being high. The owl outside stopped who-ing and I could swear I just heard someone say, "Okay, that's a wrap!"
I just gave my mom some ones that look like they've probably been in some strippers cooter. Oops.
Haha. Just tell your mom not to smell them
Hey mom, most of this money I'm giving you is in ones. Don't ask why and whatever you do don't smell them.
Sounds legit to me.
Well I was thinking of taking him out for drinks then lecturing him about his drinking... kind of like an open minded intervention
Shooting a bottle rocket from my penis was entirely justified. Twenty bucks is twenty buck no matter how you look at it
Randomize
