I enjoy that i have a whole shelf of clothes that I've accumulated from random sex. You know the ones you get to make the morning after look less awkward like similar to an athletes trophy shelf
I cant watch the real world now after jersey shore. its like trying to go back to vagina once uve had anal
Yeah sketchy neighborhood.. Some woman ran by screaming, "i didn't steal anything" as some cops rolled up and arrested her.
Well i have to fuck at least one of your roommates this year to keep the tradition alive.
Chalk up having sex in a car wash.
Ya well my good-girl image was pretty much blown when he found out I'm going to jail soon.
I just won't go as hard tonight. Four dollar ladies night drink or drown is not a good idea for me. I like to get my money's worth.
I'm like a walking PSA for tequila shots
Remember that time I got suspended in eighth grade, well it was like that but I was on acid and wearing goggles
Super awkward when the coworker you made out with in exchange for molly last weekend keeps coming over to your cube and trying to talk to you
Basically taped my dick down because it's too obvious in this costume...
YOUR VAGINA IS SO CUTE IT'S LIKE A LITTLE MACAROON
Im wearing black today mourning the orgasm i couldn't get this morning :(
He drives a PT Cruiser.... that should have been my first clue.
Sorry I blacked out in bed
it was real late and you were brushing your teeth with miller light. it was bound to happen.
Randomize
