This boy just came into class wearing sperrys and a polo but also carrying a longboard. I'm unequivocably attracted to his level of doucheyness.
the cop asked for your social security number and you gave her your high school locker combo
My plan for valentine's day: take a shot for every guy I've slept with. To keep me from going to the hospital I'm only doing half a shot for small dicks
he pulled a hernia and i had to get the morning after pill. you tell me how our valentines day went.
you kept shouting how the only tree you would hump is an elm tree because they're under populated
Everything is fine now . The coast guard said we just can't take the inflatable trampling out past the break way anymore
You just kept shouting "I AM AN ADULT!" until he agreed to carry you home on his shoulders.
I just bared my soul to you and you fell asleep. Or you're fucking your boyfriend. Either way, not cool. fuck.
Just had a flashback to Friday. Definitely had my hands in someone's bra. Definitely wasn't mine.
I mean I'm so obviously classy currently laying in bed watching a movie while finishing my drink from last night
What are your thoughts toward getting nasty in a minivan?
I don't care if we're married you can't just walk into the bedroom with a pizza box expecting to get laid
Can we smoke pot out of a menorah?
Going through his web history. 10 hours ago he searched "how to put on condom with your teeth" I think I'm getting it tonight.
I'm classy like audry Hepburn. Chugging wine out of the bottle on the way to the club. Shed do that. I know she would.
Randomize
