If I had a penis I would totaly hang shit off it. Like stretched out peach rings and fruit rollups.
I have all these new brothers and sisters I'm just now finding out about
It's so hard to take my boss as an authorative figure with her New Moon movie tickets taped to her wall
The family from the blindsided came and talked to us last night. The dad owns 68 taco bells. You would have been so inspired
Please tell me nicole sent the picture of the ejaculating penis to you too, otherwise I'll feel really awkward
i just sat down and hooked up with this girl. after she left i called over another girl and did the same. this happened about four more times and i never left my chair
Just put an ad on Craigslist for a fake groom... I'm sure only non creepy sane people will respond to it
My booty call just moved 2 min from my house
This has pregnancy written all over it
Other than unclothed paranormal encounters, how has your day been
i now understand why vodka
I mean I made my therapist laugh so hard she cried....so yes, my life is literally a joke to everyone
sorry bout the carpet, but you DID call it "blackout punch" not "don't vom on my floor punch"
You sat outside petting a picture of your cat for hours... not even the real thing... just a picture.
Probably not. Getting pulled over and puking my guts out on the side of the road in front of the cop and him making fun of me, was not my finest moment. Plus I lost my debit card.
Standing straight up with intensity he came in his own mouth. I know this because he showed me the video from five different angles when asked if I would like him to demonstrate. And I did.
Randomize
