trsut me youll find me, im the only kanye west here and every1 is chanting dbag at me
Dude i have a 6th sense for when bagel bites are ready.
she sucked my dick to get the taste of the last guy's out. I need to find a new friend with benefits.
I need $500 dollars more than I need a night of dignity... I gonna do it.
I feel like he's only with me because no one else would blow him.
Are we playing "how much awkwardness can we fit in the final 29 hours of 2011"?
yes yes we are. Go do something with super glue. i don't want to win.
Maybe I'm a robot.
You can't be that drunk already
Absolutely. I could drink and smoke that memory away in a matter of years at my current rate.
The last thing I remember from that party was me shouting "hold my feet I'm going in strapped like Rambo"
It is officially settled in my mind that fuck the hot grad student is THE goal this year
Well, I'm hung over and my penis hurts - two signs of success
Well I'm going to hell. But I'm going after multiple orgasms.
I'd say I was is in rare form last night but it's becoming pretty common.
If you had a good reason for throwing the toaster at the wall, now's a good time to tell someone. My parents are on their way back and you know my dad and his pop tarts.
Thanks for not letting me get involved with a serial killer. That's true friendship
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