I either just heard my neighbors having sex or she really agreed with whatever he was talking about.
yea i guess its safe to say fire extinguishers are not synonymous with whip cream cans
Its trashy in the best of ways. Like a stripper working to pay for college.
she "accidentally" hit me with her car, its almost as if she know im fucking her boyfriend.
I feel like my vagina stays drunk longer than the rest of me. It's always super sensitive and hungry the day after drinking.
Good call on the strip club last night. Everytime i smell some flowery candle or air freshener I get transported back to having my face firmly planted in Riah and Desire's tits.
You're welcome.
No, listening to the fray and drinking a bottle of jack daniels does not count as counseling
Yea. I feel great. My life is great. My job isn't as shitty. And my daddy loves me. I love strip clubs. Great self esteem boost.
The only thing that got me through this hellish day was imagining a large Swedish penis inside of me.
What did your vagina DO during the nhl lockout?!
Americans.
5 hours of volunteer work playing with puppies and banned from the frat I hate most as 'punishment'... Besides the ER trip, I'm not seeing the bad in this situation
How the hell does my fucking boss know about the goddamned magician I fucked?!?
I can see the future and your future is full of penis
Sorry I blacked out in bed
it was real late and you were brushing your teeth with miller light. it was bound to happen.
I went to steal condoms from your room and all I could find was chik fil a sauce
You should not be involved with someone who smells like that. Because that smell seriously does not go away. Even if you can't actually smell it at any given point, it will still haunt you
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