Oh man dude like 1000 to 1500 milligrams. Its gonna burn like bad though.
By the way, she says hi. At least I think she did since she licked my phone
Let me just inform you of my purse contents right now. Three cum rags, a sock full of cum, xanax, and a fake moustache. This is my life.
OMG stoned with flashing lights behind me, I was freaking out until I realized I wasn't driving my couch
I just keep sniffing it hoping for an explanation.
He has to watch his girlfriends kitten. Even when she is in Vegas, her pussy keeps him from getting into mine.
So should I finish watching Space Jam and then get head? Or get head while secretly watching Space Jam?
Did you blow the guy you weren't supposed to hook up with again in the bathroom of pita pit? Cause that happened last night...
You can glorify being single all you want but relationships are awesome. I haven't gone more than 24 hours without sex since June.
I just watched how this is made for an hour because I was tooo high to remember what they were making. it was like a prize at the end.
We got drunk and crashed a fifty year old woman's birthday party for the food. Whoops.
I was so ripped I had a natty light box over my head carrying a spray bottle out in the streets trying to give car washes.
My idiot ex texted me on Valentine's day to tell me I was right, he did need a therapist.
I have a weird question... did you bite my back last night?
You yelled at me about a fork.
You probably deserved it, I'm very territorial about my cutlery.
Randomize
