I molested 6 butterflies tonight
now i know why i became what i already was.
:)
Wipe that smile off your face.
nothing i could have done in life could have prepared me for walking in on her SHITTING on my rug.
Needless to say there is no second date for this girl.
yet...
i stuck my finger in my ass and it felt weird. but you know. it should be different when a guy does it right?
Where can I buy a trophy for a Groupie Award?
She had sex with a merch guy. . . band guys make you groupies, Merch guys just means she's easy.
I'm really sorry we tried to have sex on top of you last night.
I'm stranded in the Hampton area. Looks like I'm going to have to take one for the team and pass out by this applebees.
On duty sugar tits. A Marine never abandons his post to take nudi pics.
Any residual attraction has just been ruthlessly murdered by that mustache.
I woke up with Pop Rocks stuck to my ass
I've come to realize that I need a break from life when I just tried to use my address numbers as the cook time on the microwave
I'm sending lingerie pics that I took yesterday. I fully prepared for this holiday
I just had a 30-minute convo with an irrelevant fuckboy from college who decided to tell me FOUR years later he’s sorry for sleeping with 3 girls at once including me.
I'm going to go ahead and refrain from sexting you in an airport that is currently at a "level orange" security threat.
Randomize
