I walked up to her and said hello and wanted to ask her if she had fun last night... she asked me if we had met before.
it was terrible. i could've done a better job by myself.
Walk of shame was bad enough, but farting with each step as I walked past his roommates was just not cosmically fair.
you'd be confused too if you woke up to pictures of a ghostbuster doing body shots off you.
just asked if they'd gift wrap go-go taquitos for you at 7-eleven
I'm hoping that banging a 24 year old 3 times cancels out banging that freshman on Wednesday
Instead of medicine they should just give ecstasy. Also I'm tingly and can't find u guys. A gay man just said he loved me... :( / :)
I've just stalked all the hot guys who have clicked "attending". I now know which guys are "yes", "maybe" and "no". I only hope my drunk self remembers.
When he pulls out of you and farts and says ahh I wanted to do that for the past 30 mins ....you rethink the next drunken hook up
You were asking her how her mother would feel if y'all dated, etc. And I was yelling at you your girlfriends name over and over again in between gags and sobs.
Hi this is the guy from the cell phone store. Your Dad just upgraded your phone as a surprise. I didn't tell him about your topless pics on your phone. I transfered them to new phone. Nice rack!
What's his name?? He crossfits 6 times a week, works in finance & is into the occasional felony class drug. His name is irrelevant in order to know if I wanna bone him again.
He's the only guy without a tacky accent I've seen in this southern dump in 6 months. Bangage was inevitable.
You're such a Yankee.
Hey can you explain why there's a dissected coconut in my purse????
are you inviting me to ice cream?
the subtext of everything i say to you is inviting you to ice cream
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