i jus pukd everywherw but i took a showr, come cuddle
You drinking a lot?
No.
Define a lot
im going to forcibly insert an angry corn snake into his urethra
i felt like the dude nobody likes from the mikes hard lemonade commercial
I just saw a girl walking home wearing a tshirt, boxers, and cowboy boots. Thanks for having the decency to drive me to my car.
This isnt meant to be as creepy as it sounds, but do you seriously want a lock of the hair I cut off?
Also, drinking coors light. Fuck that. Fuck that in the fucking face.
Oh I forgot to tell you that while you were in the bathroom last night I made friends with a gay man named Rodger from Venezuela and he kissed me cheek and told me I "knew how to shake my thing". From now on we go to the bathroom as a team.
i got two bottles of merlot and sorrows to drown, you in??
He doesn't drink liquor so instead of doing a body shot off my belly button he dropped water in there and sipped it out with a straw. Look at my face: =|
The only people who really get me are strippers and mascots for sports teams.
I CAN SPEAK THE LANGUAGE OF THE ANIMES.
When he said he lived in a closet I thought he meant his room was really small or something... But he actually has a queen size mattress on the floor of his roomates walk-in closet.
So...#1 on my TO DO list for college is to fuck someone somewhere in the stadium during the homecoming game...you down?
it's okay that you two hooked up in the family bathroom at the mall.. i just pray to god you were not making a family in the family bathroom..
Randomize
