Lets evaluate? U kissed one boss and lef twith another man. I cock teased the other, hardcore had a tongue jammed down my throat, made out w aa third then left in a cab w alex w them all yelling at me and offering rides. My cheek was also licked and bitten by 2 other men and we almost made out (u and me) because they asked. were hired.
I don't smoke a lot but now and then I do. Weed and I are like still standing naked in a bathroom together deciding if we should blow one another or bolt for the exit. An awkward relationship.
the last thing i remember is fucking her. GAME CHANGER i woke up in another bedroom to her younger sister blowing me
Places you have drunkenly threatened to piss: my bed, my bros bed, my moms bed, my bros wedding
So i know you wont get this until you land, but if i'm late its cause i was having sex. being blunt and hope that explains things.
We still need to grow old, buy a house, and drink 40's while wearing old people sunglasses, staring at the young studs mowing our lawn.
If a man doesnt have the ability to fuck you well on a small climbing wall, I don't think he deserves you.
i know it happened because it happened right beside me, and at one point on top of me.
If I can't get slightly excited by the thought of his face between my legs then I know I can never sleep with him.
I am not saying having unprotected sex in my boss' pool was a good idea, I am just saying it wasn't my worst idea of the summer.
I'll just tell your children you were the queen of drunk town and you had a giant purple monkey named bongo
I'm at an awkward stage of not being able to tell if I wanna keep having fun or if I need to die in bed
Watching the Walking Dead, snuggled up naked, and drinking a beer. No better way.
If ever there was a tweet to describe your life, it's this.
Literally had sex in his grow room under a plant.. ganja queen .
How so I keep attracting the virgins? HOW?
You talk about your love for your ninja turtle onesie when you're drunk. Are you really surprised?
Randomize
