dude, im still at the bar with two chics... one has a moustache ill save that one for you... be home in 20min..
conclusion of the day: americans need to get on tredmills, people need to learn how to flush toliets and learn how to pee in then instead of on them, and waiters shouldnt tell their life stories to customers.
She announced her abortion via fbk
I need to have sex with someone before he does. I need to win this break up!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have a new drinking limit. I'll stop when I know I'm going to untag the picture that was just taken of me.
Oh, I'm sorry. I'd rather be "doable" than "the fat chick"
I would have been the big man on campus...just flop my wang out on the table and how them what they were gonna deal with if they dropped the soap
Oh my god did you actually lose a tooth
someone in the elevator just told me i looked like a struggle but i smell very pretty..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If she's over 40, she won't believe you if you say " I'm only going to put the head in"
You're the best friend ever. I wouldn't want to do the walk of shame with anyone else.
Got a high five from a Superman stripper tonight
You know that you're in a bad spot when the doctor puts you on 500mg of amoxicillin 4 times a day for ten days and puts refills on it...
It's scary that my vibrator is a dangerous weapon. I want a new one.
Too high to wash a dish but just high enough for a kitchen fire
Randomize