I fell asleep with crest white strips on and ate one...
I just woke up and shes still asleep next to me with her vibrator inside her and on. Whats normal protocol for this situation?
oh hey summer self, welcome to endless thirsty thursdays and walks of shame.
yo everyone went to the hospital last night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
One question: Why is your trash can full of blood and pop-tarts?
Just realized the guy is in my class. Unless there's another guy that had half his ear bit off at a St. Patty's party
He just showed me a video of his erect penis moving to the beet of the music when he was high, I think I'm in love.
You almost hooked up with 200lb woman in her mid-forties, because you were convinced she was adele. Your drinking problem is officially out of control.
hes out at the street wearing a tophat and a monocole and carrying a cane and greeting every car that drives by
he just went across the street and into someones house and we could hear him inviting them over from the front porch
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
BTW, you ever shave a dick into my dog, I'll cut you. I'll laugh first, but then I'll cut you
I apologize for being mean. I love the blender and your vagina.
He added his name to my To Do list. That's the way to my Type A heart.
The trash can in my living room is full of Popsicle sticks and my vibrator has taken up permanent residence on my coffee table. I'm not doing anything productive. Clearly.
He was smart enough to bring a condom to our study date so I mean I'm sure he'll do fine on the test
Im crossing my legs while on the toilet. It's like I'm unconsciously thinking "if im going to barf and shit at the same time, Im at least going to do it LIKE A LADY"
Randomize