I just had a 2 1/2 hr conversation about the pros and cons of taping your ballsack to your taint, which then led into the unveilling of lady gaga being a hermaphrodite.
Where's the Hot Mess Express headed tonight?
I hope that's not the new nickname for my friends and me.
Christmas on farmville was waaaaay better than my actual Christmas.
I wish real life had facebook tags so i could figure out who all these people are
I just found puke in my bra..
I'm up to 9 pic of different guys. I need 4 more boys and each one of the 13 to submit 3 additional pics. I wanna make a penis deck of cards.
The fact that both my ribs are severely bruised from shoving flasks in my bra might be a validation of my mothers alcoholic accusation
I have blocked the memory from my mind. He is just a fuzzy cloud floating with my other bad decisions..
It's a gift. Kind of like morning wood in my brain.
Let's play, "guess how long my Neighbours have been watching me dance naked".
Do you think the firemen will remember me?
Yes. But you were sloppy, sobbing, and puked on two of them. You won't get in their pants.
can you please not set my house on fire for once???
just went home with a guy that made fun of me in elementary school. this blow job is not going well for him.
so do you remember taking your shirt off and just standing in your bra at the bar or no?
I've been on the cocaine and semen diet for the last 24 hours, lunch sounds great.
Randomize
