He muttered something about having just washed he sheets, then demanded I give him all my quarters.
Feel like bed is flying. Not sure where we're going. Hope there is candy.
Sorry you had to hear me puke. I didn't know I called you. Was it graceful?
woke up in a freezing tub of water at 6 am again. probably should stop the drunk baths
I need to hang out with girls who make more mistakes
After the tests come back negative, you guys will look back on this evening with fond memories...
I met the perfect girl for you, she's smart, likes cars, has at least one ear, and really blue eyes!
please elaborate on, "atleast one ear"
He poured all of the vodka into the sweet tea and said that tomorrow it would be called 'surprise drunk.' then we had sex.
I just need to repress my desire to share my impressive chugging abilities with the world and I won't black out so much
Tip of the day: Don't ever send a bootycxall at 3 in aftnoon. No one will respond n u'll just feel fooolish.
Oh you know same old same old. just eating pizza after faking extreme night terrors to get a one night stand to leave my apartment
i was giving head the other day and thought of your all penis tastes the same quote and couldnt stop laughing
When you sleep in the bathroom, you're no longer a guest.
He found out about your side hoe and still helped you try to find a lizard that got in the house
Thanks again for the coffee and orgasms
Randomize
