I decided it would be a good time to smoke on one of my deliveries but then I got the munchies and ate a piece of the pizza I was freaking out so I told him it was our new pacman pizza
You're the 8th person from last night to text me this morning and ask if I'm ok.
Just woke up. My philosophy paper is a play, and my paper for musical theater is about physics. That's some dank shit you sold me
Watched a women out our tannin salon literally fight police because she was getting arrested for trying to drunkenly fight the tanning salon owner...we need to step up our day drinking this is shameful.
Just put your hair in a bun. We're going out to drink, not to impress people.
Because he's your one night stand I shouldn't feel obligated to extend social media to him
i woke up this morning and saw her in my bed and i said to myself, I think I might have a drinking problem.
I drank butter last night, who am I to judge?
Omg I'm puking right now and then sneezed four times in a row. You don't know pain til this happens to you.
He should just accept that I want his dick and his friendship. Can't he understand that I don't do emotions?
Oh no. Did you guys fuck on my pull out couch?
Hey I can officially say I made out with a drug lord.
All I wanted to do was come home from work and masturbate for national sex day... I sliced my the tip of finger giving myself a pedicure so I can’t even do that #singlelife
Our entire day shift is on either molly or acid. I'm about to take two hits of the latter.
I have a mild substance abuse problem, but I'm still a functioning member of society. America.
Randomize
