When my options for Friday night are being a 3rd wheel or bringing a gay man as my date i need to focus on other things in life like having a successful career.
My parents came down to check and make sure I wasn't into any mischief then proceeded to give me alcohol.
watching my parents drink 4 loko out of usf cups playing pool and rocking out to ACDC...
Can I come live with you?
I taped Calvin and Kyles heads together face to face while they were passed out. You should have seen them stumbling around using hungover teamwork trying to find scissors.
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I opened my door to go to class and all there was was a raccoon puking on the doorstep. In hindsight, it was a very accurate omen.
im not picky. i just want someone whod go down on me while im writing my psych midterm paper. thats not a lot to ask.
good news. according to wikipedia, my blackout might just have been "post-trauma amnesia"
WHY IS EVERY MAN IN THIS CITY GAY? IS IT SO BAD TO WANT TO BE TREATED LIKE A PIECE OF SHIT BY A REALLY HOT STRAIGHT MAN FOR A NIGHT?
If we accept the love we think we deserve do we also accept the sex we think we deserve?
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Amnesty Wednesday? I'm free to do dirty things to you and you can't laugh or judge?
When you licked the fourth stranger's cheek the bar tender pretty much ordered us to get you out.
Omg my butt feels so much better. Those suppositories are magic. It feels like Jesus fingered me in my sleep.
After we finished, she peed a little on my chest and told me she was "marking her territory". I didn't know if I should have been scared or aroused.
His dick is curly. It's adorable.
I am a bad person
You slept with him. Was it good?
I wasnt going to but I was too lazy to blow up the air mattress
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