There was an extended period of my adolescent life where my friends and I would get high, drive around in my minivan listening exclusively to the wu tang clan, and intentionally crash into snowbanks
i'm pretty sure god just pointed at me and laughed
Stop trying to talk to my friends!!
then get some ugly ones...
I was walking around outside with a basket of eggs. I feel like little house on the prairie: hungover edition.
hahaha lucky. I'm fishing with some dude I just met when I woke up next to the mohawk river
No it's ok. I made friends with the guy that always wears helmets to the bar. His name is helmet Harry
Hah no, But it might feel like water boarding to my soul
Random pof guy just messaged me initiating a Pokemon battle. Want to be a bridesmaid?
I had sex in a panda mask the other night.
If we try hard enough and believe in ourselves, we can still make it to Wendy's before they close
I didn't know how to commemorate his death, so I snorted a fat line off of his obituary. Rest in peace.
I just took a plan B pill with my preworkout. That's the level I'm on today.
Every Easter every single one the baby Jesus butt plug comes up
OMG OMG OMG I just throwed up in his pillow case when he wentto start the sho wer, time to grab my bra and bounce!!!
Wow.
Yo did you say we are blacking out saturday night and playing dodgeball?
Yeah for relay for life. Its for cancer
Randomize
