I painted my nails silver
And what are the implications of that?
Is there supposed to be a msg in that? Just thought ud like to know it looks like I fingerbanged an alien
I found the seven page love letter I had written you. I'm sorry i was so obsessed.
i messed up with two guys last night...one i pranked and left the phone on..the other one i went crazy on trying to be his girlfriend after four jagermeister shots...
i just shoved 27 marshmallows in my mouth
well thats a nice change of pace from what you normally put in your mouth
John tries to set me up, and she has 1 arm. I'm a nice guy, but 2 arms is kinda a requirement
so when i dont talk to her she talks to herself...idk whats worse
these marshmallows taste like mayonnaise. like playing tetris on a gameboy, that's what these marshmallows mean.
U handed him a box of flavored condoms, winked, and slurred, "grape juice is her favorite."
She was our DD the least I could do is have sex with her. Even when drunk I'm still chivalrous.
You remember the guy that busted in waving a tazer at everyone yelling "get the fuck outta my crib"?
yeah you don't forget that shit easily
We ended up crawling out from our hiding spot and playing pool with him once he calmed down. His name is Marcus. I got his email.
OH MY GOD DO YOU REMEMBER WISHBONE? DO YOU REMEMBER THAT LITTLE BITCH? WHAT'S THE STORY WISHBONE
Hey I came back and we made joints with the breathalyzers the cops left last night.
He awkwardly handed me plan b on Pickens Street... it was like a sketchy drug deal.
Definitely! I will do that this week. Right now, watching drag queens play with my dad's beard.
This might be the worst thing you've ever done.
Really? I feel like I've done worse. Guess I gotta step my game up.
Randomize
