you know you go to a catholic school when you are rollin a joint with matthew 14:1-12
I dig being used for consequence free sex. Not consequenceful sex.
I went out in the middle of the night to smoke my weed.. Didn't realize my dad was sitting on the patio doing the exact same thing..
update. expensive tequila only makes the mistakes more expensive.
He literally just walked in some random persons house and walked right to they're pantry. Then five minutes later he walks out with pop-tarts, mac and cheese, and captain morgan. We need to chill with this kid more often.
Every time she shows up on my newsfeed, I get the taste of tequila in my mouth.
Get dressed, I have 50$ and you need a new beer pong table since we threw yours off the 8th floor last night.
I shouldn't trust a guy I just met with the pull out method. That's a big responsibility.
we are all four or five tequila-induced decisions away from shitting in a bucket, come get me please.
Had to belly crawl across the floor to the toilet with my eyes closed to puke my life out without making my hangover worse. Three times.
I JUST FOUND AN INTERNATIONAL POLE DANCING CHAMPIONSHIP IN SPANISH
Someone downtown drunkenly stole the antenna off of her car... while she was driving.
Hi. Tara tells me your sandwiches and stamina are substantial
The 666th photo in my phone is of him and if that's not a sign that he's secretly the Antichrist, idk what is. Also, bring more rum.
I just want to trace his tattoos with my tongue
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