yeah but it's new years. they should arrest people for being sober that day.
I just found out that AAA will pick you up if you're drunk for free if you're a member. How did I not know about this?
they described our state of being as looking similar to a crime scene....you were on the ground and i was running around screaming.
Of course the bar would go completely silent right as I yell out "I don't have AIDS"
I defriended her. I just can't support someone whose profile picture is of their water birth.
Dude, it's not gay. It's winter.
I don't remember but we shouldn't have a problem. Unless drunk you encouraged drunk me not to wear a condom.
I think we have a problem.
I can't be here...my therapist just watched me take tequila shots
Shame?!? Shame only comes from getting naked in front of strangers and it not being awesome
My lunch = taste testing salsas for A&P. They gave me a free 64oz grape juice as a thank you. So, now we have something to drink in the house. So while you are spending all the money on breakfast rolls and pizza for lunch, I'm cigaretteless and whoring myself for tablespoons of salsa and free juice.
I just look at my butt and see so much potential.
Just walked by a girl saying to her friend "honestly you coulda given me any dude and I woulda fucked him"
You should've introduced yourself
That's a gentle way of saying I passed out like an 18-year-old on his first trip to Tijuana
I promised to leave my panties on but I didn't promise to not have sex
She dropped the call after she told me she doesn't want to hear about how loud he can scream.
Randomize
