I hope my future cuntsucker is that tight
don't go home with that guy from jersey
i know, not worth the blood test
Do u think I can claim pregnancy as an accident so my insurance covers it?
That's ok. Our relationship has a solid foundation of booze and questionable behavior.
I woke up naked dangling by my feet from the balcony over his foyer. He's officially my new favorite booty call.
We learned a lot about one another. I showed him around the town I grew up in and he informed me that he has had a threesome and killed a cat
fun fact #6 about tuesday nights: giving head with two 40s taped to your hands is not as easy as you would think
So I'm at the VFW tonight and the shot special here is straight 151 for 2 dollars. They must hate our livers
Oh my god. I just RAN OVER a child. Oh my god this isnt my day. That kid was cool as fuck though
High gym went like this: I went to Dairy Queen instead.
I think I just danced on the bar. With a man named Alabama.
Thank you for turning 21. I'm going to love reading your texts.
I told her I didn't have a condom. She then sized me with her thumb and finger and tossed me a large. Then I asked her to marry me.
It was an all night sausage fest and I was the lady of honor.
good news: i got laid. bad news: by your boyfriend
St. Patty's shenanigans tmrw? I wanna meet dudes lol. Why stop at coronavirus when you can get the clap, too?
Randomize
