I have this horrible feeling I'm going to blackout tonight & only be able to say 'wasabi bobby' over & over again.
Sometimes I wonder if my friend studies mystic Christian theology because he's afraid to come out of the closet. Evidently, it's okay to talk about God coming inside you, but not to say the same about dudes.
and in the morning, while we were eating breakfast, she was all " i think someone sneezed into my shirt..." she'll never know.
look to my right... shes dancing like she's playing dance dance revolution and her character is a retarded, drunken moose
you busted in the room, ripped the covers off of us, ... and fist pumped
It's like alcoholism for beginners at my kitchen table.
she both took care of me and took advantage of me. it was BEAUTIFUL.
He said he loved me so I pretended not to hear it because I don't think "I love your penis" was the response he was looking for.
Beer lympzucs are ki7lling me
Just pulled a muscle trying to take a naked pic. I think it's time to start working out again.
I fell into his fridge. I want to leave.
Actually let's just focus our energy on not getting committed to a psych ward.
We BOTH lost our virginities there. It's basically a landmark.
Don't be the guy that has his dick out at work.
you missed a good time last night.
you texted me at 10 telling me to come fuck you, that says enough.
Randomize
