her name is jenna, so i wanna cunt punt her
that's how i am about ashleys and britneys
the plan is to continue having sex with all three of them until my birthday, and then once they've given me their presents, they can find out about each other.
who paints a picture of their own dick and sends it to people. i dont know if its borderline crazy or just fucking genius...
Just caused a nice traffic jam while trying to park at Costco. Too high to drive.
This guys mom bought us a 24 pack and drove me and 8 others to a frat house... Hello moms weekend.
Annabeth just got on the bar and slurred something about how she was worried that when she started dating you your penis wouldnt fit. You are one lucky bastard my friend.
His penis has been a bonding mechanism beyond comparison.
Also, no joke, I think that raccoon hair is still in my eye from last night.
By the way, just opened the browser on my phone for the first time today... And it was it the "images" section of "who invented ass fucking"
So thanks for that
I can't find a song to express how gay I'm feeling.
Idk I was embarrassed that I hit it too hard so I played it off by spitting out bong water like a 'whales blowhole'
He wanted to watch the vow, cuddle, and not have sex. An upgrade is in order.
I know that whole thing was awkward. Not worth the piece of cake.
I remember waking up on the bathroom floor and seeing my teeth behind the toilet
WAIT YOU’VE NEVER BEEN TO COSTCO???
COSTCO IS MAGICAL
I can’t believe you two made a group text to scream at me about Costco.
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