Can't talk. I'm at the Tulsa Sheriff's office with a bunch of rednecks. I bet I'm the only one that voted for Obama.
I bet you're the only one who could read the ballott.
I cont stop tolking in a british axsent
i think ur clone was at the club last week. she slapped some tall girl in the face who tried to steal her spot on the podium. i dont know if ur like her, but she seemd like a ninja badass with superpowers
he was so hot that i framed the used condom. it's not trash, it's art.
Olympics start in one day, that gives us 24hrs to think of gold medal worthy drinking games
i had to do the walk of shame dressed as a leprechaun. I have never been more proud of my irish roots.
and everything will be beautiful and nothing will hurt and we will eat nachos
I just conducted a skype meeting drunk and in the middle of a cornfield. I don't even think they noticed.
You might call them booze related cuts, I call it "partying so hard you sweat blood"
So nowhere in the dress code does it forbid me from showing up to City Hall in a gorilla suit to meet the mayor.
This guy is clearly nuts his idea of a hangover cure is a six pack poured into a camelpack then hiking 3 miles with a weighted vest. He said "learned it in the army i guess drink beer beat the heat"
in a last ditch attempt to make life awkward after i die today i want to be buried naked and have an open casket funeral.
I heard the bride mutter "I should have brought a fucking tranquilizer". I'm not at all surprised that you got banned from the bar afterwards.
i cant hook up i'm covered in egg rolls
I have filthy fantasies involving his tongue. My vagina almost exploded while he was licking that ice cream cone.
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