It's not littering; it's giving birds nest building suplies. Besides, birds love soy sauce and plastic forks.
How can i ever say i miss u when u wont go away
I wasn't excited about it either, but if I was going to have her take a load on her face, role playing as some french dude is the least I could do
it's not cheating when I paid for it
It is 8 o'clock in the morning and there is already blood all over one of the stalls in the bathroom. What has your St. Patrick's day done for you?
It's amazing how much better one feels once you put something in your vagina.
he walked down the highway for 3 miles at 4 am, and got me coffee on the way. i dont think a blow job would have been enough.
we're about an hour out, how's the weather?
cloudy with a chance of strippers and cocaine, you're favorite. welcome home.
Come over we're drinking with orange soda as a chaser to honor 90s nick kenan and kel.
Don't pretend like we're functional. We're gonna discuss this drunkenly via text the way serious conversations should take place.
Teaching my class, used paper clips to fix my hair. Too hungover to be a kindergarten teacher.
On another note, I feel like my vagina is slowly being peeled off with a rusty potato peeler.
That's crazy. Wow that lady must be fucked up
Yeah I hope she's okay.
I'm still going to fuck her husband but I do hope she's okay.
I walked past his mum on the way out and she offered me toast in a napkin "for my travels". Being home from uni is weird.
I get sad thinking about all the sex I’m missing out on because of the virus
I instituted “quarantine and chill” months ago. It’s not like penises go soft just because they’re working at home.
Randomize
