he was cumming and all I could think about was the pathway of sperm the in penis. thanks a lot nursing
I gotta figure out which 7 tampons in the box contains the drugs
her dad gauges his nipple piercings.
I find it ironic...the gays are dying to get married & I just want a fucking divorce
You went to the animal party as a hoodrat. You won the most creative costume contest.
I'm afraid I might run into that fat chick that sucked on me in the hospital parking lot while her friend cried in the car next to us, but I may be willing to take that chance.
He left for work so I drank pickle juice from his fridge
May he have a McRib induced stroke and lose the feeling in his tastebuds.
Snow days are when you really appreciate that your neighbor is on your bang roster.
I tried to get more sleep but the universe decided I needed a drunken freshman instead
Oh shit that's not good dude. I'd head straight for Williamsport hospital the first ingredient in that shit is lithium batteries. You don't want to know what the second one is
I swear, I make more use of my creative writing major with sexting than I do with anything else
Somewhere on my work laptop I have a map visualizing all the area codes that Ludacris has ho's
I hope that wasn't done on billed time
I can guarantee that it was
God dammit everything I said last night about jungle juice being awesome just does not carry over into the next day
I was high as fuck laying down in the back seat while she gave him head. Most awkward chill moment of my life.
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