I'm not a mortal combat character
but my vagina is
I'm torn. Shes everything I ever wanted, but I just cant get past the story about having drunken sex with her dog in high school.
I let some guy put hot sauce in my asshole for his birthday
So you coming over for some grilled cheese and head?
Random question, how's your gag reflex these days
Christmas on farmville was waaaaay better than my actual Christmas.
i dont mean to point any fingers but there is a lot of urine in the kitchen
From what I remember, he had one ball. But it was cute
we ran out of cups so i finished the night drinking out of a paint can.
Finished the final in under ten minutes and then puked in the bushes outside. I don't even care if I graduate anymore.
He turned down jacuzzi sex. He cares more about my vagina than i do.
You finished the fifth and then hid two dozen eggs around your apartment and declare that you would "quest for Jesus". Have fun questing today.
I didn't know I was invited to an orgy.
He fucked me over, so I'm going to do what any rational woman does. I'm going to get really high and have sex with his brother.
The orgasm I got from him made me feel almost as good as I imagine the girls in the tampon commercials feel.
Randomize
