That was rough. We had a 50% puke rate and 100% still drunk rate at lunch
he told me that my best friend was "one the most attractive people he's ever seen" and wondered why he didn't get a blow job
I mean, I know they're ugly, but I cant turn down a birthday threesome.
Some chick is drunk waving down a taxi with a slice of pizza.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Come on. I'll make you hot pockets. Literally and sexually.
He kept walking up to every girl at the party saying "Hi, I'm George Clooney. No I won't marry you." He left with three girls.
Im officially canceling McCormick Monday. I got a raise.
Sooo grey goose Tuesday?????
FACE TIME HER WHILE YOU GUYS BANG
I just audibly asked myself if i wanted to masturbate.
And then audibly agreed
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
...I'm not a booty call or a pizza...you can't just call/text and expect to be eating me in an hour..
I just ran your car into a ups truck....but on a up note I have a handle of fireball and breakfast burritos
He's 5'2" and his dick 4'8"
I met his parents. We played twister. My boob popped out.
Um that's okay I got up on the table at IHOP and terrorized the entire restaurant for a phone charger after I stole the whip cream from the kitchen and started eating it out the can
Hypothetical question: Would it be wrong to tell the annoying children who don't listen to their parents that the motel is haunted?
Randomize