ohhh my god. this party should be titled "my hookups of summers past" be expecting some good stories tomorrow
Can the rest of this semester just go by as a montage?
found POGS while I was cleaning my room this morning. Definitely bringing them back to school to turn into a drinking game.
Every single piece. I examined every single square inch of this peanut butter and jelly sandwich. and fell in love with every inch. that high.
she has a fucking refrigerator full of four loko and is charging 15 dollars a can.... she is like a mini donald trump
...he tried to burn down someone's house once. ABORT ABORT ABORT
Good idea. You gotta take care of your vagina. She takes care of you. Pay it forward.
Power went out. She lit a candle and gave me head. Made some pretty impressive candlelight cocksucking shadowpuppets. Must be what porn was like in olden times.
I'M MAKING HIKING PLANS WITH THE GIRL WHO IS DATING MY EX, THAT IS PERSONAL FUCKING GROWTH
Just please try not to piss Danny off, I really can't afford to find a new drug dealer again
Am I supposed to get so horny by looking at your dick that I start orgasming uncontrollably
HE LEFT ME THE DAY AFTER I LET HIM PEE ON ME. If you date him after that, I'll leave the fucking PLANET.
Gonna try and have sex in the empire state bldg, will tell you how it goes
Being forward is somethimes a problems. Like in sexual deity Kong.
I think you’re losing coherence.
I am
OMG. When you threw the used condom on your floor you threw it in my purse!!! I just went to grab my headphones and it was stuck to them!
Randomize
